Finally...

It's happened. I am the proud owner of a gray 2005 Ford Taurus. And she's sweet. Sunroof, CD player, leather interior, and it's all mine. Well mine & the bank's. :P

Check out the pics I snapped.
The Royal Photo Album


Thanks to everyone for the happy thoughts & prayers.

i want to be the one

he can’t get out of his thoughts

who haunts him in the night

he compares every woman to

that hovers at the edge of all his dreams

who knows his heart like no other

his body craves to touch

whose voice echoes in his head

that makes him keep a part of himself separate

he calls for in his sleep

who distracts him even when gone

he longs to be near

that stirs his soul with my words

he can’t live or love without



i want to be the one

Break It Down Baby...

Lacking motivation to clean, I put on a CD and turn it up. I head to the kitchen where the dirty dishes have been calling my name so long they are hoarse. I can barely hear the music begin over the running water, but that's okay. I know this song by heart. Every beat feels like the very beat of my heart.


Hey
Is your burden heavy?
Can you bear it alone?
Call me baby
And come on home
Is the life you're living
Filled with despair?
Call me daddy
And I'll be there


I feel the song start to move my body like it does my soul. My hips begin swaying slowly side to side. The singer's voice carrying me along as much as the music.


Oh break it down baby
You can show me the way
Hold me, squeeze me
Swing and sway
Are you worried 'bout if I'll stay?
I won't let you get away


My eyes close as my hands go on autopilot. The beat of the music controls the beat of my heart. The words I know so well begin softly falling from my parted lips.


Half a mile or so and then
I'll be knocking at your window
And you'll have to let me in
Oh listen to my innuendos
I don't want to talk all night
Just show you what I’m saying
Don't just stand there
Hear what's right
And I promise I’m not playing


The dishes suddenly forgotten as the song completely takes me over. I shake my hair loose from its prison and feel it's silky, golden strands pour over my shoulders and down my back.


Break it down baby
You can show me the way
Hold me, squeeze me
Swing and sway
Are you worried 'bout if I'll stay?
I won't let you get away


With my arms in the air, I slowly spin. My hips keeping their steady rhythm back and forth. My body and voice matching the crescendo of the song. As I sense the end of the song nearing, I lift my hair off my neck and continue my solitary dance.


Break it down baby
You can show me the way
Hold me, squeeze me
Swing and sway
Are you worried 'bout if I'll stay?
I won't let you get away


You silently come up behind me and place your hands on my hips. You pull me into you and join my dance. Your body swaying with mine. Your lips softly brush my neck. As the song slowly releases its hold on me, I feel you tighten yours.


Are you worried 'bout if I'll stay?
I won't let you get away
Break it down
Break it down baby
Break it down, break it down
Break it down
Break it down baby






If you'd like to experience "Break It Down Baby" by RobinElla on your own then download it here.

Is it wrong to like being tagged?!

Brooke posted this very cool music meme and then tagged all her readers. Since I am definitely a loyal reader I'm passing on the tagging. (Would that make this group tagging?)

Answer the following questions using only the song titles from a chosen musician/band.

Band I chose: Barenaked Ladies

Are you male or female? Alternative Girlfriend

Describe yourself. Crazy

How do some people feel about you? Call And Answer

How do you feel about yourself? Unfinished

Describe your ex: New Kid

Describe your current significant other: Great Provider (If I had a Significant Other)

Describe where you want to be: Another Postcard

Describe how you live: Who Needs Sleep?

Describe how you love: Lovers In A Dangerous Time

What would you ask for if you had just one wish? If I Had $1000000

Share a few words of wisdom: When You Dream

Now say goodbye: This Is Where It Ends



And of course I'm tagging the usual suspects: Cleggy, Mistress Violet, & Laslo.

Finding You

If I could find you right now
My life would be better somehow
If you could just be here with me
As if we were meant to be
We would always be together
Living as one forever
All my dreams would come true
If I could just find you

I’ve looked high and looked low
Not sure which direction to go
I’ve searched everywhere
And people are starting to stare
As I stand in the middle of town
With my tears falling down
Showing no sign of shame
As I keep calling your name

I can’t wait for you to find me
It’s hell being this lonely
I’ve not the patience to wait
This is not better left to fate
I need you to be near
I have to get you here
All my dreams would come true
If I could just find you

Geek girl crush...

As I mentioned before, Mistress Violet lives with Mr. Super-Cool Boyfriend. He is a hard core geek with some mad skills. Impressed doesn't even cover my reaction. Cams, motion sensors, the hum of multiple CPU's. This geek girl was in heaven. And on top of that he's such a sweet guy that he never even snickered when I broke out my IBM ThinkPad A20m 2628. Don't laugh. It was given to me for free.

So Mr. Super-Cool BF has some very interesting and geeky friends. The ones at the party kept me entertained all night. I hope they'll all forgive me if over the next few posts I gush a little. It's just that I want to be these guys when I grow up.

My first geek fangirl moment of the night was a personal tour of this website. HoboMotion.com. What a concept! I was blown away and quite amused. What could be better than a geek guy with a wicked sense of humor?!

So thank you Patrick, Nick, & Mike for giving this geek girl something to aspire to and fantasize about. :P

Everybody's working for the weekend...

I'm finding it exhausting policing what I reveal in my blog. I know it's for my own safety because there are some very scary people out there. But holding back isn't natural to me. So I've decided that I'm not going to worry about it so much anymore. Don't panic, Cleggy. I'm not going to start posting my address, phone number, real name, or any pics of myself.

Having said that...

I live in Houston. There I said it. And see Cleggy, the world didn't end. :P

As I was saying, I live in Houston and my oldest friend, Mistress Violet, lives in Dallas. This past Saturday she had a birthday party. I'd been looking forward to going for over a week and when Wednesday night rolled around I got violently ill. I say violently because I now know the true definition of projectile vomiting. Ugh.

On top of being really sick I was bummed because I wasn't fit for traveling. I called in sick to work on Thursday, dealt with attitude from my stressed and pregnant boss, and spent most of the day in bed wishing I could just die and get it over with. Friday morning dawned and I felt like hell, but since that was an improvement over the day before, I went in to work.

I was so tired that the day was almost painful, but I decided that I was upright so I was still going to Dallas. Not to mention that another friend was driving in from San Antonio just to pick me up and take me to Dallas. I have no car at the moment and MV wanted me at her party so badly she found me a ride. How can you say no to that?

So I get off my evening bus after 7pm, run into my apartment, throw random clothes in a bag, and head in the general direction of Dallas. Many stops later we are finally starting to make our way out of Houston. Despite the fact that the friend behind the wheel was nice enough to go far out of her way to get me, for most of the ride there I desperately want her to pull over so I can do the driving. A trip that takes less than 4 hours took over 5. I'm usually a patient person but I do have my limits.

We arrive after 1am and proceed to stay up far too late because MV and I haven't seen each other in nearly a year. The next morning I get up and go have breakfast with my brother. IHOP is my home away from home. How can you not love a place that serves breakfast 24/7 and EVERYTHING comes with pancakes?!

Back to MV's house to hang out with her super cool boyfriend. While the other girls are out shopping and having their hair done, this geek girl was breaking out the lappy back at the hacienda. I don't wear earrings, I own enough shoes (yes, Cleggy, I DID just say that), and a brush was all my hair needed.

A few hours later the party starts winding up. I'm not much of a party girl and I'm basically pretty shy. I knew maybe 7 people at this party, but I decided that wasn't going to stop me from having a good time.

I met some very cool new people. I got to see another old friend who I hadn't seen in over a year. And I got to make fun of lots of people singing karaoke. Karaoke. The Japanese word for painfully off key. And if you don't get drunk enough to get up and try it then you can lurk in the back and laugh at those that do. Good times.

I somehow managed to be in bed and asleep when the sun came up, but I think it was a close race. Just after 11am I'm awakened by Mr. Super-Cool BF calling MV to come and see the water coming into the house. Wee! Cue the storm party.

While MV & Mr. Super-Cool BF are working hard with a couple of handy-men friends to fix the water problem, me and several friends are watching the storm coverage on TV. Big nasty storms collide and flash floods ensue. We began searching each remote for that one ray of joy in any flood in the South. Yes, you guessed it. The redneck with a mullet in a canoe hauling his TV, hunting dog, shotgun, and fishing gear to safety. The wife & kids can fend for themselves.

Hours of idiots in Mazdas and Volkswagens trying to drive through water, reporters looking like drowned rats, and even shots of Six Flags (local amusement park) under water. Footage from the air. Footage from the ground. Reporters in knee-deep water. Reporters in high winds. Reporters in helicopters.

And not one damn redneck to be seen! What is this world coming to?!?!?!

Disappointed I finally left Dallas after 7pm. Due to the continued bad weather I didn't get home until after 1am. Let's just say that the next day at work is a bit of a blur. Geez was I tired. And right now I'm just living for Saturday. Almost there.

More details to come...

Tagged by Cleggy...

WoW! Tagging is fun (and that STILL sounds dirty)...


1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was behind you?
The ladies bathroom at work. Would have managed to avoid even that but I looked up as I was leaving to keep from running into a lady coming in.

2. How much cash did you spend yesterday?
About $125 (that's a partial refill of a prescription and a few odds & ends).

3. What's a word that rhymes with mist?
Kissed.

4. Favorite planet, on which you would live, if you could?
Saturn has pretty rings, but I'm betting Pluto is closer to my favorite temperature.

5. Who is the last person you kissed?
Steven.

6. What is your favourite ring on your phone?
Kim Possible "Kimmunicator" beep.

7. What is the last band shirt you wore?
Does my marching band shirt count?

8. What do you think of yourself?
I have a nice personality.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
*looks are her bare feet*

10. Night light or pitch black?
Night light.

11. What do you think about the (previous) person who took this?
I love him.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping badly

13. What did your last text message say that you received?
"The Cheat's behind the friggin' box!"

14. Where is the nearest Valero?
About 5 miles away.

15. What's something that you say a lot?
"Dude."

16. Who told you they loved you last?
Mistress Violet

17. Last furry thing you touched?
A gorgeous kitty named Line Noise.

18. How many drugs have you done in the past 3 days?
Trust me, you don't want the list. But don't get excited. They are all prescription.

19. Favourite age you have been so far?
This one is good.

20. Your worst enemy?
Those who know me well would say the sun.

21. What is your current desktop picture?
At work, Stonehenge.
At home, a picture a really close friend sent me called "Melody".

22. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Thank you and have a nice night." To the bus driver as I got off at my stop.

23. How do you like your eggs?
At IHOP.

24. Do you like someone?
Yup and I'm going to pass him a note in study hall tomorrow and tell him.

25. The last song you listened to?
Louis Bertignac & Carla Bruni, "Les Froleuses" because I downloaded the link Cleggy posted. :P



Tag-apalooza...
Mistress Violet, Vegas Vixen, Margo (stop ignoring my tags woman!), and anyone else who enjoys tagging. :P

Tagged...

Well actually I sort of tagged myself (that almost sounds dirty) after reading Todd's list. I posted my list in his comments but since then have decided it would make a good blog. Plus then I could tag a few people (that DOES sound dirty).

Name ten (seven wasn't enough) songs, old or new, that you're really enjoying right now.

1. "Not Going Home" by The Elected
2. "Would You Come With Me" by The Elected
3. "How Do You Love" by Collective Soul
4. "Little Round Mirrors" by Harvey Danger
5. "My Degeneration" by Moke
6. "Invisible Girl" by Minnie Driver
7. "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple
8. "Pull Me In Tighter" by Rilo Kiley
9. "Does He Love You" by Rilo Kiley
10. "Through My Door" by The Muckrakers



Now for the tagging....

1. Cleggy
2. Margo
3. Mistress Violet
4. Laslo
5. WendyDarling
6. Queen B


Can't wait to see your lists. And maybe in a later blog I'll elaborate on why each of these songs are getting a LOT of play time on the royal MP3 player. :)

My entry for Flash Fiction Friday #28

The realization slowly dawned on me...

That my very first entry for Purgatorian's Flash Fiction Friday was going to embarrass not only myself but everyone ever connected to me. My third grade teacher would probably change professions. My family would disown me. My friends would enter the Witness Protection Program. By the time I was done I'd be alone and I'd finally have an answer to the question "Can anyone here you scream in cyberspace?"

Or maybe it would just end up being another one of my barely read blogs.

I'm betting the later.

So where was I?


The realization slowly dawned on me that I was a stalker. I could deny it all I wanted, but it was the truth. At any given moment of the day I knew where he was (11:12 pm - home in bed, Egyptian cotton sheets, green). I knew what kind of car he drove (a blue 1996 Volkswagen Jetta, license plate DWE 625). I knew where he lived (216 East Watson, #908). I knew all his phone numbers (home 555-324-1378, cell 555-879-0910, work 555-225-1536, parents 555-645-8723, married sister 555-451-6502, unmarried sister 555-329-1655, & best friend in junior high he no longer speaks to 555-487-7794). I knew where he went to school (Gilliam Elementary, Chapman Middle School, Bennett High School, and Elton Junior College). I knew the name of the first girl he kissed (Jenny Lewis, in the 8th grade, behind the monkey bars, on a dare). I knew the name of his first crush (Monica Bellucci, she had amazing lips and thinking about them all the time nearly caused him to fail his senior year). I knew about his first job (Dunkin Donuts, it's where he first noticed Monica while she was eating a raspberry jelly doughnut). I knew he had three unpaid parking tickets (they're in my left desk drawer). I knew his middle name (Francis, after his father but he tells his buddies it's Frank). I knew when he went to the gym (Tuesday & Thursday nights and Saturday afternoons). I even knew the colour of his favorite pair of underwear (actually they're leopard print).

I just can't deny it any longer. I am stalking him. He's become an obsession. Some days I call in sick to work just to follow him around. He's starting to notice too. I mean how many times can you see the same car behind you before you wonder if it's following you? How many times can you see the same woman turn up in your path before you start to realize she knows your name?

I just can't help myself. He's like the Pied Piper. I even hear music playing when I see him. The same song over and over. "Pop Goes the Weasel" I can hear it right now in fact. OMG! It's him!

It's the ice cream man!!!

Places I don't ever want to go...

1. A 24 hour video store with a preview center.

2. A public bus with the bus driver on a cell phone.

3. Restaurant with sign "Pay no attention to the restaurant report."

4. Convenience store with sign "Come inside after you get gas."

5. All you can eat cabbage & sauerkraut night at the local buffet.

6. Any half off sale at a women's store.

7. The photography place that shares an office with an adult video store. They also accept Western Union. *shudders*

8. The beauty shop down the street with hair pieces hanging in the window like scalps.

9. The bar down the street that has a wet t-shirt night the same night as ladies night.

10. The gas station on the corner owned by the man that gets gas across the street.

Observations on a bus (part 3)...

The world flies past the window in a blur and the setting sun washes everything in a creamy butterscotch colour. The dotted lines on the freeway blend into one long line that leads us all toward home.

The bus rounds a corner and the usually packed freeway is nearly empty of cars. We are all pressed back into our seats as the bus picks up speed. The blurred landscape adds to the feeling of flying as we top a hill and begin to rocket down the other side. Gravity seems to lose it's hold on us as we reach the bottom of the hill. I see the driver grinning in his overhead mirror when he sees that many passengers are holding their arms in the air like on a roller coaster ride.

Our collective excitement seeps out as someone in the back yells, "Woo hoo!" Amid the scattered laughter you can hear the breathless joy of the long forgotten children in each of us. "Can we do that again?" someone else asks.

"Afraid not," the driver says with disappointment clear in his voice. Then we all notice the building traffic in front of us. The bus slows and exits after a few more miles.

As the bus rolls to a halt at the first stop after our freeway ride, the driver's voice crackles to life over the intercom. "Today's E-ticket ride was brought to you by the nice folks at the Metropolitan Transit Authority. We hope you enjoyed the ride and be sure to tell your friends. Ya'll have a nice night."

Observations on a bus (part 2)...

The bus jerks to a stop and the doors open with a rush of air and tiny raindrops. A girl steps aboard, pays her fare, and quickly finds a seat. She’s as wet as everyone else from the rain, but somehow on her it looks good. Her headphones play music only she can hear and we can all see how the music effects her by the rhythmic movement of her head.

The rest of us lurch first one way then the other as the bus lumbers along at an unhealthy speed, but the girl only sways slightly as if she’s subject to a different gravity. Her grip on her copy of PASTE magazine never loosens and her attention never strays from the mesmerizing words on the pages in her hand.

Her tempo slows as the song changes and the bus makes another rough stop. In the brief silence, the girl starts to hum. Within moments the sound of her voice begins to rise above the mechanical din of the aging bus. Sweet and clear, the girl’s voice draws every eye toward her.

“Sky above, endless and ever blue
Filled with stars, shining their light on you
They're there when you're feeling scared
You're all alone,
They’ll lead you home.
Home
Angel, look what you've come to.
Like the deep blue sea
Love is all around you.
It's there when you're standing tall
It'll be there when you fall
It's at the edge of all the dreams you’ll dream”

With someone else’s words but an emotion all her own, she enraptures us all. An audience held captive more by her voice than by the metal transport.

Her song ends as the bus shudders to an abrupt halt. The girl gracefully rises to her feet and exits the bus. Time seems to pause as if the world is suspended momentarily. Then the spell breaks and we return to our lives as they were before an angel rode beside us.

My Word Cloud...

I've been fascinated by everyone else's so I finally did one of my own. It was fun. :)

Observations on a bus...

The bus pulls to a halt past the usual bus stop. As riders are stepping off, the bus driver unbuckles his seatbelt and follows them out. Those of us left watch him walk back up the road we came down and into a Walgreens on the corner. We all desperately hope he's going in to pick up a soda, gum, or even some condoms and not the prescription he forgot to take this morning. The waiting begins.

For the first few minutes everyone is quiet and still as if he might suddenly reappear and chastise us for being disorderly children. Then a murmur starts in the back, moving forward like ripples in a pond. We all slowly go back to what we were doing before our driver seemingly abandoned ship.

As our moods elevate, someone in the back offers to take the wheel and the man next to me demands to see his driver's license. Everyone laughs. A lady near the middle wonders out loud if anyone could even operate the bus with all its buttons & pedals. Our self-elected wheelman hollers at me, "Hey blonde girl, you're the closest. Can you show me how to operate it?"

"Dude, I wasn't paying attention. I had no idea there would be a quiz later," I quip. Laughter ripples through the bus again.

"No worries," wheelman says and starts walking towards the front of the bus. "I'll figure it out."

Just then the bus driver steps back onto the bus. "No need, son. I didn't go home. I just went for a snack."

"Did you bring enough for everyone?" someone asks.

"Sure," the driver replies. "But you're all going to have to take really tiny bites."

There's another wave of laughter as the bus rumbles back into action. I look up and meet the driver's eyes in his overhead mirror. We exchange smiles and are homeward bound again.

My profile...

Has been viewed 121 times!

Who are you people?!?! Do I know you?

Next time you stop by, be sure to say hi. :D

It's quiet here......

Maybe too quiet.

Cleggy has gone home for the night so Thunderbird has stopped telling me I have email. The neighbors have settled in for the night so there are no creaking floorboards above my head or the usual sounds you hear when two adults and two dogs live in a very tiny space coming from next door. The TV is off because I can only stand to hear it's babble for so long. The only sound is the hum of the air conditioner and the rhythmic clicking of the keyboard.

Some nights this is the best time in the world for me. A time to recharge and relax. That stillness between showering and crawling into bed. The only time in my day that I have truly all to myself. The ringer turned down on my phone. The away message up on my computer. Decompression in progress.

Then there are nights like tonight when I don't just feel alone, but lonely. When the quietness makes me feel isolated instead of calm. When I realize that my brother lives 300 miles away and my parents live 1800 miles away. My closest friends live 200 miles away (Cleggy), 300 miles away (MV), and in New Zealand (Margo).

I know this feeling is brought on by anxiety over minor surgery I must have next week, but I don't think that makes it any less valid.

I'm basically a very shy person face to face. There are days when once I leave work I won't speak to another living soul until the next morning. Not out loud anyway. I live alone and despite the rumors about being insane, I am not prone to talking to myself. From Saturday afternoon when I left my doctor's office until Monday morning as I was waiting for my second bus, I hadn't said even one word out loud. It's a sobering thought.

Living alone has been good for my independence but I'm not so sure it's been good for my people skills. My hermit-like tendencies and lack of a vehicle seem to be making me even more isolated than usual. I don't want to get old and find that I'm that scary old lady at the end of the block with a hundred cats. For one thing, I'm allergic to cats.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. So let's chalk up another blog to PMS and call it a night. I'm going to crawl into bed and enjoy the quiet while I can. Never know when the upstairs neighbor will do some 3am vacuuming. And I wish I was kidding about that. It wouldn't be so bad if he'd just come down and vacuum my apartment too. :)

Nerves plus PMS equals......

An emotional roller coaster ride with multiple stops for snacks.

What?! Amusement park food is good and good for you. Admit it. Greasy burgers. Greasy fries. Greasy funnel cake. Sticky cotton candy. You need something to chase down all that grease. And for dessert you can have a carmel apple. With sprinkles.

Excuse me. Could someone tell the ride operator it's time for another snack stop? NOW!


Okay, kidding aside. I'm having one of those nights where I'm mentally going through everything in the frig and cupboard. I'm tired enough that it can't be something I have to cook, but hungry enough that it could be peanut butter straight from the jar. The spoon is optional. Actually sex would be a damn good substitute instead.

How wrong is that? PMS is not a nice task master. And it’s far kinder to me than it is to the people in my life. My poor, loyal, devoted friends. Some months they deserve hazard pay and a medal of honor. Especially when they share the cookies.

Sorry for the rambling, but I’m really nervous about a medical procedure I’m having tomorrow and the PMS is taking advantage of that. Sometimes it seems to have a life of its own. Which reminds me. I’d better go feed it before it becomes really mean and nasty. Believe me, you do NOT want that to happen.

By request......

Empress has asked for an update on Mr. Immuned. So here goes...

Unfortunately he has not been back at the bus stop since I last wrote about him. I did see him earlier this week at a bus stop across the street which means he was headed in the other direction.

Seeing him got me to thinking that I definitely focused on the negative too much in this situation. Instead of dwelling on him not smiling I decided to work on noticing all the people who did. Not just the men since I'm not really trying to find a date during my daily commute. I'm not keeping an official tally but I will say that about 98% of all the people I've smiled at have smiled back at me. Some have even smiled first.

Which is nice since it's been a rough week. But that's a whole other blog post.

Missed opportunity?

Albert Einstein said, "In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity."

I don't think Albert had trouble making friends and influencing people.

Time for an update on Mr. Immuned. Actually there is no update. Thursday & Friday he wasn't at the bus stop or on the bus. So I guess I'll have to chalk this one up to another missed opportunity. But I no longer feel like my smile needs validation.

As I arrived at the bus stop on Friday, I immediately noticed that Mr. Immuned was not in sight. I have to admit to being quite disappointed. Until the bus actually pulled up, I didn't give up hope. There must have been a look on my face I wasn't aware of because the man that was at the bus stop asked me if I was okay. I assured him I was then I smiled. And guess what? He smiled back.

For the next few stops we talked about all sorts of things and every time I smiled, he smiled back. My confidence, such as it is, was beginning to be restored. When he got off the bus he made a point to stop and shake my hand. He also told me he hoped he would see me on the bus again. I was flattered.

So when I go back to work on Tuesday, if Mr. Immuned is at the bus stop, I won't feel quite so bad if he doesn't smile at me. After all he's just one man and it's his loss, right?

BTW, this is where all of you agree with me. :P

Johari Window...

I borrowed this idea from Ubermilf. Hope she doesn't mind. :)

So here is how it works. Go here and follow the instructions. Then I'll be able to see what you people really think of me. :P

Don't forget to do your own too!

Here is a description of what a Johari Window is.

If you'd like to track the results with me then click here.

Thanks!

Smile and the world smiles with you...

Or so I thought...

Yesterday I think I met the first man for as long as I can remember that is totally immuned to my charms. Okay, I'm not as conceited as that sounds. Not even close. I'm no Marilyn Monroe, but I'm no John McEnroe either. But rarely has a man not smiled at me after I've smiled at him. Believe me it's not because I'm beautiful or sexy. I've just always had that effect on people. Even people who are known for not smiling much.

I offer as proof someone who for anonymity's sake I will call WS. He was one year behind me in high school. I was friends with his sister who was in the same grade as me. So of course I knew him too. We were all in marching band together. My senior year my lunch changed to the same as WS. His sister, another mutual friend, WS, and I had lunch together every day.

WS was known as a very serious person. He rarely smiled. In fact he smiled so infrequently that only his sister could say for sure that he even knew how.

Although I knew WS, I had never spent much time with him. I was a bit nervous our first lunch together. I'm actually a very shy person and in high school it was even worse. So shy that lunch was nearly over before I looked up. When I did finally look up I noticed that WS was watching me quite closely. I gave him a weak smile and looked back down.

"Are you always this quiet or does it come from an extreme dislike of your present company?" WS asked just above a whisper. "Oh no!" I answered immediately, worried that I'd offended him. I looked up again and found that he was studying me intently. I glanced in his sister's direction and realized that her and our other friend were deep in discussion and paying no attention to us.

I looked at WS again and blushed. "I guess I'm just shy," I said. "You guess?" he countered, raising one eyebrow. Suddenly it all seemed quite funny and I laughed. Then the most extraordinary thing happened. WS not only smiled, but he laughed. To confirm the rarity of both things happening, his sister looked at both of us in amazement.

Thus began a year full of smiles and laughter. WS still didn't smile or laugh often, but that was only when I wasn't around. Many people, including his family, asked me to tell them my secret. I told them it was no secret. I just smiled at him and he smiled back.

I often wonder where he is and how he's doing. And I wonder if he continued to smile more after I graduated. I hope so.

So armed with my WS experience, I arrived at my evening bus stop today determined to make this new man smile back. He walked up a few minutes after me and I suddenly found myself feeling shy. All of my determination having fled I quietly waited for the bus while staring at my shoes. Mentally I berated myself for not following through with my plan, but my eyes remained glued to my feet.

When the bus arrived I climbed aboard and quickly found a seat. I busied myself with getting comfortable and getting my CD player situated. When I lifted my head to slide my headphones on, I saw him intently watching me. Not in a creepy stalker kind of way. (Relax, Cleggy!) But in a way that reminded me a great deal of the way WS would watch me. As if I were a puzzle he was trying to solve.

Still no smile, but tomorrow is another day. I'll keep you posted.

:)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways......

Or my totally awesome Valentine's gift from another woman.

Sometimes it takes a woman to know what another woman really needs. I recently mentioned in passing to my oldest friend, Mistress Violet, that I wish I was dating someone that would send me flowers on Valentine's Day. It was a fleeting thought voiced in an IM and once expressed I didn't think about it again. MV did. Thought about it and ran with it.

Today at work I received a dozen red & white tulips from MV and her boyfriend. Not only did MV remember my fav flower but she also included a card that made a sweet, loving gesture turn into an awesome gift. The idea behind the card was that I didn't have to tell anyone at work the flower's were from a female friend if I didn't want to. Of course if the card made me blush while I laughed until I cried then MV would consider that a bonus. She got her wish.

Not only did she make me laugh but she made every single co-worker who read the card laugh. What did that card say? Read on.

"From the band, thank you for the most enjoyable night of our lives, we can't wait to see you when we're back in town! (That thing with your tongue... WOW!)"

Yeah, she rocks. We've been friends since we were 14. That's almost 24 years for those of you struggling to do the math. We've been friends for over half our lives. That's pretty good for a friendship that started when she walked up to me on my first day at marching band practice and said, "Hi. Wanna be my friend?" What do you say to that?! You say, "Yes" and you never look back.

So please join me in giving this amazing woman a round of applause.


Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be backstage with the band. Rock on!

The wheels on the bus go round and round…

Or what I’ve learned from riding public transportation.


1. If your trip involves more than one bus, their schedules will never coincide and you will end up waiting at least 20 minutes for each transfer.

2. There is no musical device that can drown out the sounds of a public bus entirely.

3. Complaining to the driver about something he cannot change will not make you his favorite rider.

4. The automated fare machine is easy to use. Unless there are 18 people in line behind you. And if it's raining then it suddenly becomes impossible to operate.

5. No matter how light your bag feels when you leave in the morning it will feel like it weighs a hundred pounds by the time you lug that thing home in the evening.

6. Wearing headphones will not stop EVERYONE from talking to you.

7. Commuter buses going to upscale neighborhoods have comfortable, cushioned seats. Buses going to low-income, mostly immigrant neighborhoods (like mine) have hard, plastic seats.

8. The bus driver's seat is almost as cool as the captain's chair on Star Trek's Enterprise.

9. Walking on a moving bus is a lot like walking on the deck of a ship. Only the scenery isn't nearly as nice.

10. Most of the cars that stupidly cut in front of a fast moving bus are small enough that the bus could roll right over them without hesitation.

11. Waving at the bus driver after you've stupidly cut him off only increases his desire to roll over you.

12. People really do drive like idiots and it's best to bring something to read so you don't have to watch them in action.

13. That dollar bill that wouldn't work in the vending machine this morning will not magically work this afternoon in the automated fare machine.

14. Don't sit in the back row of the bus unless you are prepared to be teased because your feet don't touch the ground.

15. Riding the bus will make you miss your car, even if it is a rusted 1983 Buick Riviera.

Help needed......

Those of you who know me know what a huge fan I am of Wil Wheaton (actor, author, & blogger). In his blog today he made an appeal for help finding a bone marrow match for a friend's girlfriend.

WWdN: In Exile

I've been planning to find out if I can be a donor and I think this might be the inspiration I need to finally do that.  I can't help this woman but I might help someone else.  The reason I can't help this woman is that she is Filipino and her donor needs to be from the same ethnic background to be a match.  So if you know anyone who is Filipino please ask them read this blog or look into becoming a donor.

Please give some thought to becoming a donor too.

What I have learned from driving a 23 year old car......

Or my life after changing from a 2000 Ford Taurus to a 1983 Buick Riviera (against my will)......



1. Getting only 10 miles per gallon makes you the gas station attendant's new best friend, but is probably pissing off environmentalists everywhere.

2. Car restoring enthusiasts give you very dirty looks when you drive a car as rusted as this one.

3. Parking becomes a whole new problem when you drive a car who's doors swing out like barn doors.

4. CD players were invented AFTER this car was made. Ugh.

5. UV rays & skin cancer were obviously not a common issue when this car was designed. I've never seen a windshield this large on a vehicle with only four wheels.

6. Some low-riding cars actually do happen without the help of a body shop.

7. Really affluent people cringe when the rusted tailpipe of your low-riding car scrapes the ground in front of their house.

8. Even Lenny Kravitz would have a hard time looking cool while driving this car.

9. No one ever wants to take your car at lunch. Heck, YOU don't even want to take your car at lunch.

10. If the car starts on the third try you know it's going to be a good day.

11. People will avoid parking near your car as if all that rust and age is contagious.

12. Driving this car is great motivation to save money for a new car. Say something actually made in THIS century.


Here are more pics....

Soundtrack Update...

Thanks to Cleggy I have a new addition to the soundtrack of my life. Sun, Sun, Sun by the Elected is one of the best albums I think I've ever heard. No kidding. Topping my favs from this album is "Not Going Home". WoW! Catchy music and very heartfelt words.

When those guys sing:
"no, i'm not going home
sometimes you just wouldn't dare
sometimes you can't go home
sometimes you're already there
when i look at you, i'm there"

I get goosebumps and I just get it. I mean really get it. As cliche as it sounds, their lyrics speak to me.

I like every song on this album (that is not the case very often) and I urge anyone reading this blog to go out and buy it the minute it goes on sale. I know I am. In fact I'm thinking about stopping on the way home from work on payday. That's five days away. Even my neighbors will know all the words by then. Don't you just love the repeat feature on Windows Media Player? :)

Thanks Cleggy!!!

Once is never enough, but how many is too many?

For the fourth or maybe it's the fifth time I'm reading The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I don't seem to ever get tired of this book and many thanks to the very talented author and to my friend, Margo, for knowing me well enough to recommend the book. Also thanks to Cleggy for helping find a copy at one of our fav places, Half Price Books.

It won't be long before this book has the worn edges and creased spine that to me signifies a very loved book. It won't be long before the outside of the book reflects how I feel about it.

This book has become a sort of security blanket for me. Not unlike Linus, I carry it around to ward off the evils of my life. Boredom, stress, nervousness, and loneliness. All of these can be eliminated, albeit temporarily, with just the turn of a few pages. The feel of the book in my hands is comforting. The characters are familiar friends. The cadence and rhythm of the author's words are both soothing and compelling. Yes, I know what will happen and I know how it will end. But it never fails to knot my stomach, catch my breath, make me cry, make me laugh, and even make me sing. This book makes the hour at the laundromat fly by, makes me late getting back from lunch, and keeps me up far too late at night. All because once I pick it up I don't want to put it down again.

It isn't the only book I'm reading at the moment. While making my fourth (or is it fifth?) journey though this book I've read three e-books by a co-worker and new author, Sally Swanson and Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris. I'm about to start the second book in Charlaine's Southern Vampire Series, Living Dead in Dallas and I can hardly wait to get into it. But that doesn't mean that The Time Traveler's Wife will be put back on the bookshelf. No, my security blanket will remain my constant companion. For me familiarity doesn't breed contempt. Instead it breeds comfort, peace of mind, and emotional well-being.

In case you're not getting the message here, I encourage you to read it for yourself. It's quite a journey. But all the really good books are, aren't they?

To Meme or Not to Meme...

Recently Cleggy taught me what a "Meme" is. Now I'm seeing them everywhere. Including my own blog. :P


Here is an ABC Meme...

[A is for age:]
37. And feeling every damn day of it lately.

[B is for booze of choice]
About one margarita a year. I'm such a lush.

[C is for career]
There is where I'd like to say writer, but since no one has ever paid me to write then that would be fiction. Hey! I AM a writer. :P

[D is for your dog's name:]
Sasha, but she lives with my brother because my apartment is just too small. :(

[E is for essential items you use everyday:]
Computer/Internet, car, indoor plumbing, cell phone, TV, USB thumb drive, books, and my teddy bear, Puddin'.

[F is for favorite song(s) at the moment:]
"Spente Le Stelle" by Emma Shapplin

[G is for favorite games:]
Sudoku & Kingdom of Loathing

[H is for hometown:]
Humble, TX (the "H" is silent)

[I is for instruments you play:]
Clarinet & a little piano (very little)

[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Grape. I'm so boring.

[K is for kids?]
None of my own.

[L is for last movie seen?:]
"The Chronicles of Narnia" with my brother & Cleggy.

[M is for most admired trait:]
It seems to be the general consensus that I am a very sweet & loving person.

[N is for name of your crush:]
He knows who he is.

[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
No thank you. Hospitals are depressing.

[P is for phobias:]
Spiders

[Q is for quotes you like:]
"Even the longest night surrenders to the day."

[R is for biggest regret:]
Believing people when they convinced me that I had too many responsibilities to make a career of writing.

[S is for sweets of your choice:]
Chocolate covered almonds

[T is for time you wake up:]
6:30 AM

[U is for underwear:]
Yes I wear it and no you may not see it. :P

[V is for vegetables you love:]
Spinach, broccoli, carrots, green beans, & many others.

[W is for worst habit:]
Self-deprecation

[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Somewhere between one & enough to make me glow in the dark.

[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I dunno. Cleggy is the only person I cook for these days. You'd have to ask him.

[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Cancer

The Movie of My Life...

***The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic***


Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski


If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

What Language Should You Learn?

Due to Cleggy's recent yen for foreign music and our love for foreign movies, Cleggy and I have been talking about learning several foreign languages. When I saw this survey I just knew I had to take it.

Now it's your turn to take it, Cleggy. :)






***You Should Learn French***

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...


What Language Should You Learn?

The Pattern of My Brain...

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.


What Pattern Is Your Brain?

My Stripper Song Is...

Master and Servant by Depeche Mode

"There's a new game
We like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog
Get me down on my knees"

Yawn, dancing is so boring without a little spice.


What Song Should You Strip To?



BTW, I stole this from The Babbling Brooke. I'm a new fan of her blog and this amused me greatly.

"7 Things" list stolen from Cleggy...

Stole some answers from Cleggy too. :P

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Publish a book
2. Go to England
3. Find a job that I'm happy at for longer than 3 years
4. See my brother in a happy, stable, and permanent relationship
5. Take a vacation with Cleggy that lasts more than a week
6. Dance with Cleggy
7. Be the best possible sister, daughter, aunt, friend, and woman I can be


7 things I can do:

1. Write
2. Love with all my heart
3. Listen
4. Laugh with the total abandon of a child
5. Lose myself completely in a good book or good music
6. Hope
7. Dream


7 things I cannot do:

1. Intentionally hurt someone
2. Go through a day without music
3. Take a compliment gracefully
4. Say "goodbye" without feeling a bit sad
5. Make it through a sad book or movie without crying
6. Talk to Cleggy for more than a minute without smiling
7. Talk to Cleggy for more than five minutes without laughing


7 things that attract me to another person:

1. Sense of humor
2. Sense of family & duty
3. High capacity to love
4. Compassion
5. Intelligence
6. Creativity
7. Belief in God


7 things I say most often:

1. "I love you"
2. "w00t"
3. "Coolness"
4. "Dude!"
5. "YaY!"
6. "Oh my."
7. "Ugh."