Monday, January 15, 2007

Good News At Last...

I saw my surgeon on Thursday for the wound from my surgery in June. Yes, I'm still under his care AND having a nurse coming out twice a week to change the dressing. At least I was. I am now officially...


No more visits to the surgeon and no more visits from the nurses. The wound appears to finally be closed. Although there is a centimeter deep indentation where the last of the wound was. Tonight I showered for the first time since June 8, 2006 without a bandage of any kind over the wound. And I have no plans to put a bandage over it at all.

The only drawback at the moment is the sheer ugliness of the wound. Something I'm reminded of frequently since I can't seem to keep from pulling up my nightgown to look. The joke was that I was wounded in a sword fight. The scar is not evidence to the contrary. It really does look like a sword wound.

Oh well. I'm just happy to be alive. And bandage-free!

YaY me!!!

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Still Drifting...

The chaos filled her head with white noise, trying to block out all other thoughts. If she couldn't think straight then the chaos could seduce her into doing what it wanted. If it couldn't have Mr. Destructive then maybe it could find someone even more unsuitable. Someone new to feed off of.

The best candidate lived next door to her. He was dark, mysterious, good looking, and had a steady stream of women in and out of his apartment daily. Best of all, she was already attracted to him. The chaos had caught her looking at the way his tight leather pants clung to his firm butt as he leaned across his motorcycle. Her thoughts that day had been delicious and the chaos had fed well.

So far she had held to her resolve to keep Mr. Destructive firmly in the friend catagory. The chaos had begun to despair that she would never feed it again. Then a random thought had slipped past her defenses. It was hardly even a thought to begin with, but the chaos had been waiting for just such a moment.

The white noise was just the first step. With seemingly innocent thoughts, the chaos could begin to move her in the direction it wanted. And if he stayed out of her bed long enough this time, maybe it could get a firmer hold on her life. He had hurt her worse this time and the chaos was benefitting from that pain. Her relatively calm exterior was masking a deep chasm full of pain. The chaos was nearly giddy with excitement over the possibilities that chasm would provide.