Monday, November 28, 2005

Confessions of a Best Friend...

I spent my Thanksgiving holiday with my best friend and his family. I was very grateful for the invitation. Since my parents moved a little over a year ago, this city has felt less and less like home. And the thought of spending the holiday alone was too depressing for words. So Cleggy to the rescue as usual. Thanks, Cleg!

So on to the confessions...

A friend at work asked me if spending time with Cleggy was really worth all the effort. Leaving work on Wednesday for a more than three-hour drive to Cleggy's house. Eat Thanksgiving dinner with him and his family. Cleggy and I making the three-hour drive back to my house right after eating. Spending Friday & Saturday at my house then doing the same three-hour drive back to his house on Sunday. Monday finding me retracing that three-hour drive back to my house alone. So, my answer to the friend from work? I would do more for less time with him.

And that was BEFORE the weekend in question. :)

As Cleggy says we watched way too many movies and listened to way too much music. We relaxed, talked, visited several bookstores, went out to eat a couple of times, rescued a computer from a friend that we are planning to repair, and Cleggy bought me a new friend, Puddin'. All in all it was a GREAT weekend. But then it always is.

Now don't think I've forgotten about those confessions. I haven't. Just giving a bit of back story.

Cleggy is the master of all travel CD's. Knowing he is going to be making one is a definite highlight to any trip with him. Knowing that I get to keep them is more than a highlight, it's the rule. Knowing he was making 7 CD's caused excitement and anticipation usually reserved for small children the night before Christmas.

Of course, Cleggy didn't let me down. Each and every CD was a musical journey I wouldn't have wanted to take with anyone but him. Every CD was different and as eclectic as Cleggy. When he asked me later on which one was my favorite, I couldn't answer. They each had something extraordinary about them. It was nothing short of blissful.

So in an effort to repay him I make the following confessions to amuse and please him.

1. Yes, I really do like all that chivalrous, gentlemanly stuff.
2. I will spend weeks looking up the groups on these CD's at your fav site -

And for his ultimate enjoyment...
3. I REALLY liked the song by Tiffany from her latest album. (Yup, the former pop princess from the 80's.)

Go easy on me Cleggy. Remember I'm your best friend. :P

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Chrysalis emerging...

I've got a young friend (early 20's) who has a new job. It's not his first job and it's not his dream job, but it's becoming a great job.

Tonight he was telling me how proud of him I would be because he's working hard. Instead of going in, doing the minimum expected, and going home, he's doing his best and taking the initiative as often as he can. When he sees something that needs doing, he doesn't complain that it's someone else's job. He jumps in and gets it done. He's showing respect for his superiors. And best of all, he's enjoying the job.

He's come quite a long way from the angry 17 year old I first met years ago. He was probably days away from either quitting school or getting kicked out. He hated the world and everyone in it. I don't think I'll ever understand how we became friends, but I'm glad it happened.

He tells me that I'm the reason he graduated from high school and is now in college. I can't agree. He's done all the hard work. And it's exciting not only to see him setting goals for himself but also achieving them. Especially remembering all the times he told me he would never amount to anything. How wrong he was.

He might only be unloading packages on the horrendous 4am to 10am shift at a local shipping warehouse, but he's making his way to his dreams. Slowly breaking the trail that leads to a college education and that computer job he's been longing for. Or maybe that military career. Or any number of things he knows he can do.

And if he wasn't making enough progress he's lost about 60 lbs. over the last year. Is it just me or is this kid amazing? So I guess what I've been working up to is, yeah I'm proud of him. I've always known he would amount to something. I am overjoyed that he's finally seeing that too.

Monday, November 21, 2005

A tough realization...

Well Tori is all fixed up, home safely, and has pretty new brake lights to show for it. They tell me she was a good girl too. Mommy is so proud. :P

In other news……

After talking to a friend tonight I was struck by the thought that everyone has their own version of the truth. We truly do hear what we want to hear and see what we want to see. It’s more than just how we interpret someone’s tone of voice or facial expression. It’s also about how our brains or maybe our hearts fool us.

I think we usually only get one of two kinds of filters. Most of us hear only bad things or only good things. Or maybe we have different filters for different things.

I tend to see the good in people. I think everyone has a good motive and that they don’t mean anyone any harm. I don’t have the same view of myself. I only hear the bad things about myself.

I’m fat. Ugly. Lazy. Stupid. Untalented. Unlovable. Irresponsible. Unworthy. Too much trouble. And did I mention fat?

The only way to get through my filter is perseverance. Thankfully, I have several friends and loved ones with a LOT of perseverance. Or maybe they are just stubborn. No. Not MY friends. :P

But this realization isn’t really about me. It’s about my friend. It’s about trying to get through to someone who isn’t hearing the same thing that someone else is saying. It’s about how you can help them hear the real truth. And it’s about how that truth might hurt them, but still be better for them in the long run.

No two people’s definition of love is the same, but sometimes two people’s definitions can be so different that they aren’t even in the same universe. In those cases you have to hurt someone to help them. Even if it makes you feel like a bitch. Because if being a bitch can help someone move on and one day be happy then you have to do it, right?

So why is there an ache in my chest and tears in my eyes? I guess I’m not very good at being a bitch and tonight that’s not a good thing.

Modus Operandi

I've owned my car for nearly two and a half years now. She's not much, but she's mine. Her name is Tori and she's spiffy. Yup, I said spiffy.

She's a "future fuel vehicle" which means she can run on ethanol. Not that a city girl like me has a clue where you find that. I won't even stop at a gas pump without a debit/credit card reader.

The reason I mention Tori is that today I have to take her to a local dealership for some recall repairs. I'll have to drop her off and she'll stay all day. And I have to admit that I'm not entirely comfortable with that. She had a few major repairs months ago and was away from me for a week. And although that bothered me it was overshadowed by the stress of the whole ordeal.

So I'm feeling a bit like I'm dropping her off at her first day of school. I know it's silly and a car could never mean as much to me as a child. Yet here I am, worried. Silly, huh?

Well I'd better run. I've got to leave early to drop Tori off. I hope she doesn't pout. :P

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Um yeah...

It's only day two of blogging and already I'm falling behind. That doesn't bode well. :P

I'm more intimidated by the blankness of this little screen than I thought I would be. There is just something about the whiteness and the emptiness that chases the words right out of my head. I'm trying to work through it.

So here's what's going on with me...

I'm finding myself wishing for the next three days to pass quickly. Like a school girl waiting for a holiday or looking forward to vacation, I find myself unable to sleep. As if I'm waiting for Santa to come. But that's the wrong holiday, isn't it?

So who could I be awaiting the arrival of? My best friend.

Like any good girlie-girl I've cleaned the apartment and bought groceries. The cupboards, fridge, & linen closet are stocked. And I can't stop smiling.

You'd think it was Christmas. But no, it's Thanksgiving. And I have a LOT to be thankful for.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

A bit about me...

I'm not really a princess. I just play one on TV.

Truthfully I just play one in my fantasy of how my life SHOULD be. Reality is not so kind. :P

I will attempt to record daily updates of my entirely boring life. You can expect anything from random observations to new additions on the running soundtrack to my life.

Any comments are appreciated. Just go easy. LadyBugs are sensitive creatures. :)

Thanks for visiting!