Or what I’ve learned from riding public transportation.
1. If your trip involves more than one bus, their schedules will never coincide and you will end up waiting at least 20 minutes for each transfer.
2. There is no musical device that can drown out the sounds of a public bus entirely.
3. Complaining to the driver about something he cannot change will not make you his favorite rider.
4. The automated fare machine is easy to use. Unless there are 18 people in line behind you. And if it's raining then it suddenly becomes impossible to operate.
5. No matter how light your bag feels when you leave in the morning it will feel like it weighs a hundred pounds by the time you lug that thing home in the evening.
6. Wearing headphones will not stop EVERYONE from talking to you.
7. Commuter buses going to upscale neighborhoods have comfortable, cushioned seats. Buses going to low-income, mostly immigrant neighborhoods (like mine) have hard, plastic seats.
8. The bus driver's seat is almost as cool as the captain's chair on Star Trek's Enterprise.
9. Walking on a moving bus is a lot like walking on the deck of a ship. Only the scenery isn't nearly as nice.
10. Most of the cars that stupidly cut in front of a fast moving bus are small enough that the bus could roll right over them without hesitation.
11. Waving at the bus driver after you've stupidly cut him off only increases his desire to roll over you.
12. People really do drive like idiots and it's best to bring something to read so you don't have to watch them in action.
13. That dollar bill that wouldn't work in the vending machine this morning will not magically work this afternoon in the automated fare machine.
14. Don't sit in the back row of the bus unless you are prepared to be teased because your feet don't touch the ground.
15. Riding the bus will make you miss your car, even if it is a rusted 1983 Buick Riviera.