Holy Diabetic Coma, Batman!!!

Whataburger is now offering a Chocolate Brownie Pie. (Mmmmmm, chocolate) (Mmmmmm, pie)


I know. Win - win, right? Yeah, not so much if you're diabetic. :P

I bought one anyway. It wasn't bad. I actually prefer the chocolate turnover at Arby's. Now that was some chocolatey goodness. (Mmmmmm, chocolate)

Okay, now I should probably go take another shot of insulin. :P

Not Getting Back Up Is Never An Option

Cleggy shared this video with me this morning. Thanks, Cleggy!!!

These words were the first ones I heard today and I have a feeling they will continue to resonate for me in the next few days. Music is a powerful force. It imparts so much more than just the lyrics & the notes. And this song speaks of forward motion.

A New Page?

When the new Barenaked Ladies album came out, I resisted listening to it. Steven Page leaving the band had left me a bit shell-shocked. It never occurred to me that the sound of my favorite band of all time would ever change. Evolve, yes. But not a change like this. How I felt can only be described as grief. Something I loved for years had died.

After months of refusing to listen to "All In Good Time", one night I just gave in and listened. I liked it. It was good to hear Ed, Kevin, Tyler, & Jim again. It was like running into a friend you really loved hanging out with and can't remember why you don't still hang out. Still, something felt vaguely off. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Just a slight niggling at the back of my mind telling me there was something tiny but important missing.

Last night a good friend shared Steven Page's new album "Page One". I decided not to be so stubborn this time so I started listening. About 3 songs in, I started feeling slightly schizophrenic. I was both happy & sad at the same time. As I listened to Steven's songs I realized what was missing.

Not just his voice (which I'm simply crazy about) but also his quirky lyrics & phrasing. Yet as I listened I still had that "something is missing" feeling. I kept expecting the boys (Ed, Kevin, Tyler, & Jim) to join him. And while artistically I loved each song more than the last, emotionally I felt like they all have tricked us or let us down.

I felt the need to stomp my foot & demand that they put the band back together & stop all this nonsense. I felt cheated almost. And yet, my foot wouldn't be still & I was humming along.

I might need therapy. :P

Diabetes Meme

What type of diabetes do you have: Type 1

When were you diagnosed: June, 15, 1991

What's your current blood sugar: No clue & not really sure I want to know. *sigh* Tested & I was right, I didn't want to know. 212. These numbers are making me so crazy lately.

What kind of meter do you use: Ascensia Countour by Bayer which I've had for several years & I'm itching for a new one. Alas, my insurance doesn't cover the cost of the meter. Just the strips.

How many times a day do you test your blood sugar: 1-2, which is not nearly enough.

What's a "high" number for you: Anything over 250.

What's do you consider "low": Anything under 80.

What's your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater: Lime Tic Tacs if I'm just a little low. Anything below 60 requires juice. I don't swallow very well at that point so it has to be liquid because chewing & swallowing isn't going to happen.

Describe your dream endo: I actually don't have an Endo. *hears a collective gasp* I know, I know. My GP is a great guy & an even better doctor. He manages everything quite well.

What's your biggest diabetes achievement: Surviving? I don't really know, to be honest.

What's your biggest diabetes-related fear: After having my gall bladder removed in 2006 & having an open wound for 7 months, it is most definitely another surgery. I heal slower than snails on quaaludes.

Who's on your support team: My family & friends. My GP & his staff, my Gastroenterologist & his staff, and my Hemotologist & his staff. (Now do you see why I don't want another specialist?)

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime: Depends on what day you ask me. Most days, yes I do believe they will get there. But some days, when the numbers on my meter are over 250 or over 300, I'm pretty sure I won't live long enough to see it.

What is a "cure" to you: No more shots, testing, A1C's, slow healing, lows that leave me unable to speak, highs that leave me with blinding headaches, struggling to pay for all the medicines that are necessary just to live, and no more watching my family & friends worry that this will be the year that my kidneys/heart/eyes start to fail.

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is: When they assume I have Type 2 instead of Type 1 because of my weight. And of course then they proceed to tell me that if I just lose some weight the diabetes would go away. Which would be surprising news for my doctor.

What is the most common misconception about diabetes: People are either one extreme or the other. They either think diabetes is no worse than the common cold or they think you are at death's door. There's a whole lot of middle ground in there people!

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be: "Get back to work, you lazy bastard!!!"

five & ten, do it again...

I’ve been tagged back. Is that even legal in this state?! Who knows?

Just in case you’ve forgotten, here’s da rules…

(1) Turn on your MP3 player/iPod.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
(3) Write down the first TEN songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please (even if letting the world know you listen to crap like "Weekend in New England" will humiliate you).
(4) Choose FIVE people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you, since there should be new songs appearing with Shuffle every time.

1. “Year 3000” by the Jonas Brothers
2. “Hello, Goodbye” by the GLEE cast
3. “Talk Tonight” by Oasis
4. “Matters” by The Maxfield Rabbit
5. "A Design For Life” by Manic Street Preachers
6. "Call My Name” by Charlotte Church
7. "Jersey Girl” by the Bacon Brothers
8. "Symphony” by Kathleen Wilhoite
9. "Romeo & Jane” by Tonio K
10. "Shower Your Love On Me” by Kula Shaker
11. "So Close” by Jeannette McCurdy
12. "Michael Brennan” by the Barenaked Ladies
13. "I Hate The Homecoming Queen” by Emily Osment
14. "Tremble For My Beloved” by Collective Soul
15. "Je Suis le Meme” by Garou
16. “Venus In Overdrive” by Rick Springfield
17. “Cry Me A River” by Glen Hansard
18. “Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” by Famous Last Words
19 “Liar, Liar” by Alexz Johnson
20. “Angel Eyes” by The Jeff Healey Band

And just because it will irk Cleggy that I did more than him…

21. “Potential Breakup Song” by Aly & AJ
22. “The Origin of Love” from the Hedwig & The Angry Inch soundtrack
23. “Somehow” by Drake Bell
24. “Lick” by Joi
25. “She’s Probably With Him” by The Andersons

I will be skipping #4 in an attempt to avoid getting tagged back again. Just until I check on the legality of it. Wouldn’t want to get arrested or anything like that. :P

five & ten

Instructions...
(1) Turn on your MP3 player/iPod.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
(3) Write down the first TEN songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please (even if letting the world know you listen to crap "Weekend in New England" will humiliate you).
(4) Choose FIVE people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you, since there should be new songs appearing with Shuffle every time.

1. "Rebel Rebel" by David Bowie
2. "Right Where You Want Me" by Jesse McCartney
3. "Rose's Turn" from GLEE
4. "Behind Enemy Lines" by Demi Lovato
5. "Got Me Goin' Crazy" by the Jonas Brothers
6. "I Caught Myself" by Paramore
7. "Don't Think I Don't Think About It" by Darius Rucker
8. "Shout It" by Mitchel Musso
9. "Everybody Knows (But You)" by The Divine Comedy
10. "Fallen For You" by Drake Bell
11. "New Vibration" by Collective Soul
12. "Get Back" by The Beatles
13. "Stickes & Stones" by Aly & AJ
14. "Girlfriend" by Marie Digby
15. "All Around the World" by Oasis

Okay, I did more than 10 because I was curious where it was going to go next. I actually had to make myself stop. :P

My five friends:
Kwizgiver
Wendy Darling
Cleggy
Cormac Brown
Margo

Guilty Secret...

Years ago, I signed up & made an avatar on IMVU. We are talking about 2006 which isn't that long after it started. I didn't stay around long. I began to wonder why there were so many guys hitting on a cartoon character with a bobble head & didn't see the point.

Fast foward a couple of years. My sister asks me one day if I've ever heard of IMVU. So I pull out the scary cartoon avi and go hang out with my sister online. Things have changed. A lot. I'm the only bobble head in the room. My two default outfits weren't going to cut it.

Since then I've signed on when I could & enjoyed spending time with my sister. Makes the distance between us feel a lot less than it really is. I also get to talk to some nice people from time to time. Even made a few friends.

Recently, I haven't been able to update my IMVU for the last few months. It keeps telling me that my download failed. I wouldn't really mind much, but all the pictures for my inventory are blank. It's like getting dressed in the damn dark. Or like playing outfit roulette. Yeah it's all fun & games until you end up wearing some freaky club hair a clueless guy gave you, a fairy princess gown, & the default IMVU sneakers.

Next thing you know the fashion police are busting down the door to your default IMVU penthouse with the cheap Japanese water fountain & bridge and they've entered you into the Outfit Challenge. You're 594th out of 535 entries. I'm still in therapy. I might sue.

I should probably take some time away from IMVU. Like maybe starting right now since it’s nearly midnight & I have to work tomorrow. :P

Grief Is Funny

Funny weird, not funny ha ha. Trust me, I'm not laughing. It's been a rough couple of months.

On Tuesday, 5/18 my parents dog passed away peacefully in his sleep. He would have been 14 on June 1st. He was a border collie with quite a personality.

In the summer of 1996, I was living with my parents. Not exactly cool at the age of 28, but necessary. It had been 5 years since getting diagnosed with diabetes and we still hadn't made any headway towards getting it under control. So living alone wasn't an option. Not to mention having Type 1 Diabetes without insurance made money pretty tight.

My parents came home from running errands one Saturday afternoon in July, demanding that I close my eyes & hold out my hands. So I did. When I opened my eyes & looked into my hands, I was greeted by the second sweetest face I'd ever seen. The first sweetest belonging to my puppy girl, Sasha. There sat little Zander. Well technically it was Alexander Sebastian, but I thought that name was just too big for him so I called him Zander. What a great little guy he was. With a personality as big as his name.

Within a few days of bringing him home, my parents went on a two-week vacation to visit my Pop's family in Maryland. That left big sister babysitting. And let me tell you it was not an easy task.

Zander wouldn't sleep through the night. After several nights in a row of neither of us getting any sleep, I called the vet in a panic. He told me to try putting a radio near Zander's sleeping crate. Not a lot of success with that one. I think Zander objected to the type of music I made him listen too. Either that or he just hated DJ's because he literally reached through the crate & knocked the radio over.

After the vet stopped laughing, he suggested I get one of those wind-up alarm clocks that tick. I didn't even know these things still existed, but a trip to Walmart provided proof. Best of all, Zander slept through the night for the first time the very day I bought it. Well almost. He did manage to wake both of us up at about 4am by managing to turn on the alarm. A situation not repeated after I took a screwdriver to the alarm mechanism.

The alarm clock became his new favorite toy. He carried it around by the handle or scooted in along the floor for hours every day. It went nearly everywhere he did. Unless of course I was carrying him, in which case he paid the alarm clock no attention at all. My Mom still claims that his paws didn't hit the floor when I was home until he got too big for me to carry. I think she exaggerates. To prove her claim, she will tell you stories of a slightly larger Zander following me around the house & whining because I wouldn't pick him up. I say that I never carried him unless it was entirely necessary. I mean seriously, I let him walk on his own a lot. Mostly when I wasn't home, but that counts.

During this period there were a few more calls to the vet, though thankfully not in panic. Zander had started climbing up on my head & trying to prove his dominance in our little pack. And thanks to our not knowing to have his duclaw removed, he was starting to hurt me. After yet another laughing fit, the vet told me I'd have to show Zander that I was packleader. Um, okay.

It's easier than it sounds though. All I had to do was turn him on his back & growl in his face until he stopped struggling. The trick was to do it without laughing. Once I managed that it would last a month or so & then I'd have to do it again. Once he passed his puppy stage I could stop. Although he stopped climbing on my head, he never stopped thinking I was his litter mate. I truly didn't mind and it had it's upside.

Zander was a great companion. Too smart for his own good, but a sweet little guy. My favorite part was how he'd "talk" to me whenever I got home from work or just being away from the house. And after my parents moved in 2004, he even "talked" to me on the phone too. Being a good sister, I always talked back to him. Trust me, this amused our neighbors to no end. They must have thought I was more than a little nuts. Here is this border collie doing this sort of howling & yipping thing and a human answering him back. Probably grounds for being committed I'm sure.

After my parents moved to Maryland in August 2004, Zander was my Mommy's constant & almost only companion. My Pops drives a truck for a living & he can be gone for long stretches of time. So it was just Zander & Mommy a lot. Needless to say his death has hit her very hard. So in addition to my own grief, I worry about the depth of her pain & loneliness. Recently, they've gotten another dog but to be honest I'm not sure it's helping her. Kind of a long story there that is best told at another time.

There's more to my own story of grief, but that too is best told in another post. Right now I've got to find some tissues, again. My best advice right now is to not take any of your loved ones for granted, including the four-legged ones. And give them a little extra love from me. I've got plenty to spare at the moment. :(

PostSecret

The secrets that jumped out at me this week...

I don't bathe in the dark since without my glasses I can't see a thing, but I do avoid looking in mirrors at all costs.

These two are the front & back of the same secret.

I often feel like there are dozens of different stories inside me just begging to see the light of day. I alternate between feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of them and bewildered at my lack of how to get them out. The fear makes it impossible for me to get any of those words out and I'm quite positive that my brain contains a finite amount of space that will eventually fill up to the point of exploding. It's a race to see which one drives me crazy first.

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

PostSecret

Just a few secrets that jumped out at me. They won't officially post until tomorrow, so be sure to check it out. :)

I really do love to cook and I don't do it often enough. Especially with someone special. And with the right someone, it is an incredible turn on.

I'm glad to say that I've gotten flowers more than once in my life and I've never not appreciated them. Each time it is always a delight and never fails to touch me no matter what the occasion. I LOVE getting flowers. :)

Like my friend (and very talented singer), Eric Dodge says, "Never Make Love Wait." A great song and even better advice. None of us knows just how long we have on the Earth and we shouldn't put off saying what we need to say. Love out loud. Always. You can never say, "I Love You" too often. :)

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

PostSecret

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

Books, Books, & More Books!

Okay, I've been asked by a few friends about books and what I read. So here are several of my favorite authors and books.

I get some ideas for new authors at http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/ and Cleggy (my bestest friend) lets me know when he comes across a book he thinks I might like. Plus he'll go to the Friends of the Library book sale and stock up on vamp books for me and let me weed through them. At 25 or 50 cents a book he can grab a lot. That's how I found 5, 6, 7, & 12 below. He also suggested 19 & 20.

1. My very favorite author is Laurell K. Hamilton. She's got a vampire hunter series (Anita Blake) and a faery series (Merry Gentry). I read both. One of the few authors that I buy her books as they come out instead of waiting to get them used or just reading them through the library. Keep in mind her stuff is pretty racy. http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/

2. Stephenie Meyer - I'm a fan of all her books. I've read her TWILIGHT series (and seen both of the movies) and THE HOST. I live in hope that she'll go forward with publishing MIDNIGHT SUN. And I just don't care that the TWILIGHT series is considered Young Adult Fiction. THE HOST is not, but not because it's racy. http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/

3. Kim Harrison - Witches, vamps, weres, & even pixies and elves. A different take on things and I like that. I own a few in this series, but not all of them. http://www.kimharrison.net/

4. Charlaine Harris - She has two series that I love although she writes a couple others. There is a vamp series with Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood on HBO is based on this series) & another series with Harper Connelly. I only own a few in the vamp series, but thanks to Cleggy I have all the Harper Connelly series. And just so you know, the HBO series has WAY more sex than the books do. http://www.charlaineharris.com/

5. Vicki Pettersson - Hers is an interesting series about heroes & villains. The fourth one just came out in July, but I haven't gotten my hands on it yet. http://www.vickipettersson.com/

6. Jennifer Armintrout - Her Blood Ties series is another different take on vamps. Keeps with some of the standard stuff like sunlight & staking, but adds a few ideas of her own. I haven't delved into her other series yet, but I'm planning to. http://www.jenniferarmintrout.com/

7. Lilith Saintcrow - So far I've only read her Dante Valentine series, but I liked it. She's got a wicked sense of humor. No vamps, but there are demons & she's a necromancer. http://www.lilithsaintcrow.com/

8. Patricia Briggs - She has several series out. The Mercedes Thompson and the Alpha & Omega series have been pretty good and they take place now. I've also read her Hurog & Raven series (only two books each), but they were hard to find. Got them through Interlibrary Loan eventually. They take place in a made up distant past kind of place. http://www.patriciabriggs.com/

9. Shanna Swendson - Her books are a bit of fluff, but I like her attitude. Plus her heroine is from Texas. :) http://www.shannaswendson.com/

10. Christopher Moore - He doesn't really do series, but some of his characters will pop up in other books. They are very quirky and kind of out there, but damn funny. http://www.chrismoore.com/

11. Annette Curtis-Klause - More Young Adult Fiction here. I've read THE SILVER KISS and BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE. I enjoyed both. They made a movie out of the second one, but it wasn't much like the book and it was a bit confusing. http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/c/annette-curtis-klause/

12. Kelley Armstrong - Cleggy got me hooked on her Women of the Otherworld series when he bought the first two books for me. I read most of the books through the library but I've started buying them as they come out. I like that the books are about different women. The first couple are about a werewolf and then it moves to a witch, I think. And the characters crossover to other books in the series. She also does a young adult series called Darkest Powers. I like that series too. http://www.kelleyarmstrong.com/

13. Ellen Schreiber - I had read the first two in the Vampire Kisses series and meant to read more, but got sidetracked by moving and then forgot. I've now caught up and I'm glad I did. This is more Young Adult Fiction. http://www.ellenschreiber.com/

14. Tonya Hurley - Her Ghostgirl books are funny. Yup, more Young Adult Fiction. http://www.ghostgirl.com/

15. Andre Norton - I am in the middle of her Halfblood Chronicles trilogy (literally since I'm halfway through the second book). She wrote them with Mercedes Lackey. I've read a few of the books she wrote alone too. http://www.andre-norton.org/

16. Orson Scott Card - I've read the Ender Wiggin series and plan to read more of his stuff as I can get my hands on them. http://www.hatrack.com/

17. Audrey Niffenegger - THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE is always on my re-read list. I finally bought a copy after realizing that I had checked it out from the library more than 5 times. I've also read HER FEARFUL SYMMETRY. It was good, but I'm not a fan of the ending. http://audreyniffenegger.com/

18. Sheri Holman - THE DRESS LODGER is also one on my re-read list. Look it up before you read it. It's not for everyone. http://www.fantasticfiction.co.uk/h/sheri-holman/

19. Carlos Ruiz Zafon - At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, THE SHADOW OF THE WIND & THE ANGEL'S GAME changed my life. These books moved me in ways I cannot even begin to express. http://www.carlosruizzafon.co.uk/

20. Arturo Pérez-Reverte - THE DUMAS CLUB is a mystery about books. What could be better? http://www.perez-reverte.com/

21. P.C. Cast - Her House of Night series that she writes with her daughter, Kristin Cast, is pretty good. It's more Young Adult Fiction, but each book is a fast read because they are full of action. And apparently quite popular because the series has it's own website. I haven't read any of her other series yet, but they are on my infamous "To Read" list. http://www.pccast.net/ & http://www.houseofnightseries.com/

22. George R. R. Martin - His A Song of Fire and Ice series is quite good. Book five - A DANCE WITH DRAGONS is due out in May and I can't wait. The last book came out in 2005 so it's been quite a long wait. But worth it I'll wager. http://www.georgerrmartin.com/


Okay, that should keep you reading for a couple of days. :P

I'm sure I've missed more than a few authors and books. I read a lot. So much so that my Mommy says there should be a crease on the end of my nose because it's always stuck in a book. She's probably right. If you need even more suggestions, the Fantastic Fiction website posts suggestions at the bottom of each author's page.

Let me know what you read. You know I LOVE talking books. :D

Veteran's Day

Thank you just doesn't seem to say enough. I can only hope any Veteran's that see this can read between the lines and see the gratitude, love, admiration, awe, and pride that is behind those two simple words.

Post Secret

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

Post Secret

I don't think I need to elaborate on this one. It really does speak for itself. And for me.


PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

Post Secret

Maybe I'm not now, but my fear is that one day I will be and because I'm single that burden will fall to my younger siblings. I'm also pretty sure it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I can't stand the thought of being a burden, an inconvenience, or a bother to anyone, especially a future husband.




PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard.

Mix It Up For MDA!

On Thursday, July 30, Carrabba’s Italian Grill invites consumers to “Mix It Up for MDA” at a special event combining exclusive cocktails from award-winning mixologist Charlotte Voisey with new Carrabba’s food items to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA).

Admission to “Mix It Up for MDA” is $15 per person from 5 pm to close at Carrabba’s. The ticket price includes a sampling of four food items from the new Mr. C’s Bar Menu and, for guests 21 years and older, one of Voisey’s signature cocktails created for the event. The food tasting includes a delicious array of appetizers from the new Mr. C’s Menu, designed for snacking and sharing, including: Antipasti Misto; Meatballs with Ricotta Cheese; Patatinas with Blue Cheese; and Chicken Parmesan Piccolinos

In addition to monies raised from “Mix It Up for MDA” event admission, Carrabba’s also will donate $1 to MDA for each of Voisey’s drinks sold from July 30 – August 6. During that week, consumers are encouraged to visit www.carrabbas.com and cast their vote for their favorite cocktail and the winner will make it on the menu!



There are two Dallas area locations...

North Dallas
(972)732-7752
17548 Dallas Parkway
Dallas, TX 75287

E. Plano
(972) 516-9900
3400 N. Central Expressway
Plano, TX 75074

Or go to Carrabba's website for a location near you. http://www.carrabbas.com/index.aspx

Happy Father's Day PostSecret Style!

It's a day late, but so was my phone call. He didn't mind at all and was just thrilled that I called. It was my weekly call to my Mommy, but I spent most of the time on the phone with him. She didn't mind either.

He came into our lives on my 15th birthday. While my friends were decorating our house for my surprise birthday party, he took my Mom & me to the mall and out to lunch. He even bought me a hot fudge sundae for dessert. I've been fat since I was 5. Not a lot of people in my life would have even offered that.

While he has sometimes been stubborn, unyielding, and even angry, he has more often been supportive, kind, and loving. He came into the relationship with our Mom saying that he wouldn't be our dad. He just never saw himself as a dad at all. At first, we agreed because we'd gotten use to it being just the three of us (our Mom, my brother, & me). But that didn't last long.

Now, nearly 21 years to the day, he's our Pops. Our father came back into our lives (after a 10 year absence) about 18 months after we found Pops. I do love my Dad, but if I got married tomorrow it would be my Pops I would want to walk me down the aisle.

I do tell my Pops that I love him, every time I talk to him. But I don't think I've ever told him how much he really means to me. He DOES mean the world to me. Most days I'm proud of the person I've become and I know he played a big part in that. I hope he knows that too. :)

Rock the Space

My friend & budding music star, Eric Dodge, has a chance to win a recording contract. So please give this very talented man a listen and then spread the word by getting your own widget & posting it on Facebook, MySpace, your blog, or even your website. Thanks! And you won't be sorry!

PostSecret

This is the one that jumped out at me this week......



I am guilty more often that I'd like of not letting people get close enough to really love me. Even when they do, I still sometimes put up walls that they don't even know about.

But when I do let them in completely, I discover all over again why God created love. It truly is beyond words.