I’m restless and I start to worry. It’s too soon, far too soon. The pattern is all I’ve been able to rely on all of these years. It’s how I’ve gauged my life style.
Now I find myself thinking things that I shouldn’t be for at least another year. Wondering what I’m missing out in the world while I’m stuck in this tiny town. Yesterday I was blissfully happy, but today the restlessness began chipping away at the edges.
It all started in college so many years ago. After dating the same boy for nearly three years, I began yearning for some time alone. Weeks later, intending only to be gone a few days, I found myself already immersed in a new life. The boy I was so in love with was barely a fond memory.
Now many years and loves later I’m two years into a relationship with a newspaper reporter in a small Texas town. Up until today I’ve been happy in a town where everyone knows everyone else. I’ve enjoyed dating the “catch of the county”.
He’s handsome in a big, cuddly teddy bear way with a wicked sense of humor and sharp wit. He never fails to make me laugh and can make me weak in the knees with a single kiss. He’s not perfect but that’s what makes him so wonderful.
For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking that I’ve never been this happy. That maybe there was something different about him. About us. Yet here I am, wide awake at two in the morning and planning my escape.
I pull the blanket more tightly around me as I feel the chill creeping in through the ancient glass in the bay window. I think for the hundredth time that we should install storm windows before winter really hits but stop myself with a reminder that I won’t be here long enough for that. A tiny moment of regret surprises and saddens me.
I reach up to brush away the tears when I feel him walk up behind me. Silently he slips his arms around me from behind and softly kisses my neck. We stand quietly, both thinking our own thoughts.
“Let’s get away for a while,” he whispers. I turn in his arms to look at his face. “I mean it. I’ve got plenty of time off saved up that we could go away for months. Maybe even longer.” He pulls me closer to him. “We both need a change of scenery and this time you don’t have to leave alone.”
Surprised I look up into his eyes and realize he’s always known. That’s what made him different. He could look into my eyes and see into my soul. I’ve let him further into my life and heart than any of the others. Now I know why. My restless soul recognized another restless soul the moment I found him. I say, “Let’s leave tomorrow,” and he kisses me deeply.