As I sit here in my empty and very quiet apartment, I can't help feeling a bit sad. My stepmom & dad left before noon today after being here since the evening of June 7th. I have lived alone for nearly 3 years now, but it didn't take me long to get use to "roomies". Granted I've spent most of that time in one form of pain or another trying to recover from what turned into major surgery. I needed the company far more than I wanted it at first. That's not to say that I didn't want them here. I've just felt quite guilty this whole time to have taken them away from their own lives.
I also have a hard time asking for help even when I need it. I'm usually the caretaker in most of my relationships. I'm just not use to being dependent on someone else. Especially for things that I've been doing for myself since I was a kid. When you call people to tell them that you actually took a shower alone without any help, you know it's been a long recovery. Just so you know, I've been showering alone now for about two weeks. I also cooked myself dinner tonight and was so excited that I nearly called my stepmom to brag. I resisted the urge. :P
So I'm sitting here at my usual spot in front of my computer. The TV is off because it's not as much fun to watch when my parents aren't here to laugh at my running commentary. BTW, Daddy, today's kitchen colour was red and she put red wrapping paper on her table. She was scarier without you here. :P
I stayed busy this afternoon. After Liz (my nurse) left, I went to the library to pick up a couple of books to read and spent some time talking to a librarian that had missed me coming in. I stopped at Whataburger on the way home. (Sorry, Mom!) Once home I made a few phone calls and watched some TV. Before I knew it evening was here and it was time to cook dinner and talk to Cleggy.
Now it's time for bed and I'm feeling a bit lonely. I haven't cleaned the kitchen and don't think I'm going to tonight. (Sorry again, Mom!) I miss my parents (BOTH sets). And I miss Cleggy, a lot. I miss my brothers, my sister, my niece, my nephew, and I even miss my mom & stepdad's dog, Zander. How lame is that?!
Hello, Pitiful? Party of one.
Yeah, that's me. Ugh.
And to make matters worse, I've just admitted to all the people on the internet (okay just to the six people that read this lame blog) that I miss a stupid dog. (Sorry, Zan. You know I don't mean that.) :P
So what to do, what to do? Tomorrow I'm hoping to get a check in so I'll actually have more than 51 cents in my checking account. That's key when you want to pay your rent. Saturday is my 20th year high school reunion (yup, 20 years. someone hand me my cane please). And I have to be back here in time to meet the nurse on Sunday. No partying for me. Not that it was in the plans due to this bum liver. Then again, I'm crazy enough sober so who needs alcohol?!
Okay, pity party is over. Move it along now. Nothing to see here.
On an up note, for the first time in nearly three months I get to sleep without trying to ignore my dad's snoring. On a down note, for the first time in nearly three months I have to go to bed without my stepmom begging me to stop making her laugh before she pees on herself.
As usual, my life is getting mixed reviews. :P