Sunday, August 13, 2006

The Joy is in the details...

It's been over two months since my surgery and while there haven't been many blog updates there has been no lack of things happening. Well actually, at first there was a distinct lack of healing.

When I left the hospital all those weeks ago, I assumed the worst was over and I think everyone, including my doctor, did too. Driving (okay, I was really riding) away from the hospital, I was leaving behind so many things. An IV, a catheter, a feeding tube, sometimes excruciating physical therapy, a bipap machine, a nasal oxygen tube, daily blood tests, a blood transfusion, a tight and painful binder/girdle (although it was replaced by a more comfortable one), constantly interrupted sleep, drug-induced hallucinations, and a complete lack of privacy. The next few weeks would show me that sometimes the simplest things can be the hardest. My usual happy nature would be sorely tested and my sense of humor would be worked until it nearly wore out. From the moment I woke up and knew where I was, I decided that if I didn't find something to laugh at in everything then it would all drive me to tears. Looking back, I know I didn't have a clue what I was about to go through.

My first week home from the hospital was a bit of a shock for me. I am a very independent person and I've lived alone for nearly three years. I'm use to doing things for myself and by myself. I had trouble doing things for myself in the hospital, but I guess I thought it would be different once I got home. It wasn't. I still couldn't walk very far, cook for myself, or even go to the bathroom without help. If that wasn't enough to deal with, I quickly discovered that sleeping would be far more difficult than any of us had imagined it could be.

I could only lie on my left side or my back and I couldn't do that for more than a couple of hours at a time. In addition to the surgery incision on my right upper abdomen, I have severe tailbone pain from four previous injuries to it. So that limited how and where I could sit. This was an issue in the hospital, but with an adjustable bed it was mostly manageable. At home my choices of seats were my desk chair, a love seat, or my bed. Add to that the fact that my 497 sq. ft. apartment now housed 3 people and you have what I have come to call Cushion Roulette. My very patient parents played a game whose only rule is that every few hours I had to change locations. And that includes sleeping locations.

It would be weeks before I could spend most of the night in the bed. Every few hours, despite the pain medicine, severe pain in either my left hip or my tailbone would drive me out of bed. I would sit for at least a half hour in my desk chair and then lie down again hoping for a few more hours of sleep. I augmented this with an involuntary nap every afternoon on the love seat. I say involuntary because I haven't taken naps since kindergarten. I just don't do naps. Until now. I wonder if I can convince my boss to add that to my work day when I get back to work. :P

Thankfully the frequency of Cushion Roulette has reduced. I can spend much longer in one spot. And thanks to a bit more mobility in bed, I can now sleep through most of the night without getting up. If I had a larger bladder I might make through the entire night. :P

Well I think I've bored you all enough for now. There's more to tell and I'll get to work on another entry soon. Thank you all again for your thoughts, comments, prayers, and love.

Keep smiling! :)


SweetestT said...

I am all too aware of that feeling of having to rely on someone else to care for you after taking care of yourself. First you took care of me and most recently mom. I am soooooo very glad they were there for you. Truly I am, I don't begrudge you this time with them, even after two months, LOL. I love you.

WendyDarling said...

I am so glad that things are looking up, and that you are feeling better. We will keep praying for a speedy recovery. :-)

Wes said...


I'll keep smiling if you do. :)

Princess LadyBug said...

Wes, so far I'm still smiling. :)

*hugs back*